I am against capital punishment.  Especially if the crime is big. It aims to teach other potential criminals a lesson but does nothing for the kinetic current criminal. The only thing that is painful about lethal injection is that needle prick. A serial child-molesting rapist killer should not just be jailed for life either. He should be tortured the same way he did his victims for the period of his incarceration. The problem though might be who is to torture him like so. I think the system hit this snug and figured out it’s easier to just kill people. Get them out of our minds and be done with them. That way, no chance of them escaping and continuing their hobbies. I suggest they be used to conduct tests on new and experimental drugs. We save the monkey and waste the criminals by forcing them to be useful to the society.

You know who deserves capital punishment though? People with limb flimsy hand shakes. The world needs to make these blood-vesseling sacks of skin extinct. You know these kind of people I’m sure. People that just brush their fingertips on your hand when you stretch it out for a handshake. They should come with a tattoo across the eyes saying ‘Danger: FLIMSER!’ so that you know what’s coming and just avoid their handshake. They are just terrible terrible people.

Imagine this in slow motion. I am being introduced to a businessman. At a meeting or conference. He looks smart and educated. Decently dressed and seems conversant with the workings of sophisticated ideologies. I stretch my hand out and begin the introductions.

Limb hand shake
Whenever I go for a handshake I always think, ‘please don’t be limb, please don’t be limb, please don… a fuck, it’s a limb handshake,’ and then my day is ruined

‘Hi, I’m Dexxe Nyontulenyile’

‘Good to meet you Dexxe. I’m Mark Nguvu.’

Then the slow motion part as he stretches his hand to meet mine. I am already seeing myself working with Mark as his hand approaches. I see the millions we will make with this smart educated and well dressed chap. His fingertips near mine and I begin to close my  palm in anticipation of a strong handshake. But his fingertips close on my index finger, brush it lightly and then he retracts his hand. I do not expect this so my hand is still closing and before I know it, his hand is already to his side and I am left standing there will a closed fist looking like a moron.

Exit slow motion.

First thing that comes to mind is I should pummel this guy’s face with this closed fist until his teeth develop cancer then kick the guy that introduced me to him very hard in the balls before proceeding to setting that whole building on fire for hosting such people and then quickly hunt down Johnson Mwakazi and drag him into that building before it burns down completely because I find his cancer-throat voice annoying.

But then I think to myself,  ‘I didn’t carry my lighter’ and just forgo the whole thing all together, but for the remainder of the interaction with this guy I will keep trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with him. Is it psychological, environmental, educational, what? What makes a nigga so damn crappy? Women are the most prolific with this kind of shit but they tend to be forgiven because they do it under the illusion that it makes them look hot or feminine or what ever the fuck they are insecure about, but a man? Come on.

They are fucking annoying and as such they ought to have the their arms ripped off and used to slap them to death. The world has no use for them whatsoever.

Do you have a list of people that out to be killed? Please share with us your pet peeves.

Limb handshake | dexxe
When two flimsers meet, this is the disaster that happens. We urge the government to intervene and make it illegal before it spreads and catches everybody.

 

Side note - I want to say my website was hacked by I do not possess the relevant expertise to determine this. I might have just have messed around wrongly with the settings. I woke up to find bots had published like 30 posts in the last 30 hours all links to some random sites. If you subscribe to post via email and got a shitload of notifications from me, I apologise.

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