I had been convinced that the Land Rover Defender was the best SUV for the kind of roads we encountered during our field work studies but I am starting to change my mind. Yes I understand why The Audi Q7 is a tame SUV that would get butchered in the wilderness. Yes I get that the Toyota Land Cruiser ( the 70’s series not this new-age Prado nonsense) brought back bad memories of being hauled to cells by the police. But I am still adamant that the Land Rover is not all that that I was made to believe. In the field, I agree that it is king but what about when I have to come back to civilization and work in the office for a while as I compile the report? The Landy does not look all that. The SVX maybe, but the normal one, no!
Notice how I ignored the American SUVs. I think they are all meant for cities and would break immediately they hit a dirt road. Okay. I am exaggerating a bit. It doesn’t even need to hit a dirt road to break. It can break even on the smoothest of roads. Notice also that I have never owned a car. This might incline you to negate every tarnishing remark I ever make of American SUVs. But check this out. The Americans themselves show us how shitty their cars are without even knowing it. Look at the movies (I have never been there so I have to judge by what is in the media). In every movie that shows an American SUV as cool, the car is heavily souped up. Custom grill, 24 inch chrome rims, counter clock-wise spinners, Recaro bucket seats, Carbon fibre hood and skirts, spoilers on the roof…. I mean! That Cedric Bow Wow movie sums it all up. It’s too damn much. My theory? If you buy a car and have to spend more money making it look good, that car is shit. So in short, if you want an SUV that is meant for field work, Europe. If you have more cents than sense, America. If you are broke, Japan.
My sudden craze with SUVs started when I was overcome with the sudden realization that my career path is headed to life in the wilderness. Working with dirt. Surviving the scorching sun. (By the way for something that is called a great source of energy, standing under a scorching sun sure does drain you of all your energy. That must be where it gets all its power. From field workers like me. Oh my God I power the sun!!!) My life is in the field and I have come to accept this. So instead of having a Q7 for the office and the Landy for the field I have settled on getting the Mercedes Benz GL 63 AMG. It looks able to do hard labour. That and because it has 7 seats. My dad has gotten me used to 7 seaters.
But in all honesty, check out these pictures and tell me this car is not suited for the real off road then a fancy office in the city. It costs an arm and a leg but all the presidential aspirants are talking about wealth creation so whoever will get in (it doesn’t matter who, because ALL of them have said we will be rich soon) will make sure I can afford this by Christmas this year.
- Engine – 5.5-liter V8 biturbo
- Torque – 760 Nm at 2000-5000 rpm
- Output – 410 kW (557 hp) at 5250-5750 rpm
- Acceleration 0-100 km/h – 4.9 s
- Top speed – 250 km/h *Electronically limited
- Fuel consumption – 12.3 l/100 km
- Price – a measly 10 million. So add the generous amount of Kenyan tax and you have a total of only 20 million shillings. Peanuts.
Courtesy of Mercedes Benz AMG