Then suddenly I heard about this new gadget by Google called Google Glass. Essentially how they work is like this. They are lenses that act as a screen to keep showing you stuff like your G + notifications and the weather report and stream porn right before your eyes. It is really futuristic stuff and looks really awesome but when I first heard about them I didn’t see why I would want to have a pair to myself. I already wear glasses. So would I have to put The Google Glasses over my normal ones? That is really douchey, I thought. I already do that with 3D glasses and feel dumb enough. Thank God for the poor lighting in the movie theatres And then there is the multitasking thing.
I can actually picture the thought process of those Google Guys in my head.
Yo Dawg. I heard that you like wearing glasses. So I put some glasses over your glasses so that you can see while you see.
I have to be looking at and through my glasses at the same time. That is really hard for me and not just because I am a man. It is physically impossible for me to have one eye look through the lens and have the other eye look at the lens. One vision has to be slightly mostly ignored. This is because I will be too busy taking ass shots of chicks to realize that there is a pick pocket stealing from me, right before my eyes. But then I thought that maybe they could get them customized to my reading glasses specs. That would now be really awesome. But I know that might cost a bit more than I will be willing to spend so I gave up on that whole thought process.
|Look at how happy she is. As she browses through the soap opera channels|
Then another thought process started. This is glasses run on Android, which practically means you can tweak them to do anything right? What if you can add a plug in (is that what is added on Android devices? I don’t own one so I don’t know) so that the lens can zoom and unzoom at your viewing pleasure? I am short-sighted so I would have them on zoom nearly all the time. Are you guys getting where I am going with this? Probably not. Let me try and explain.
My family is riddled with diabetes. I recently lost two aunts to it. My dad lost his appendix and kidneys to it. If it were not for my mom donating one kidney to him he might not have made it. Dad also lost some of his vision to diabetes and this has made him an awful driver. The number of minor accidents we have been this January alone!! Anyway, I asked him why he never puts on glasses and he goes on to tell me that they don’t always help. See the thing with his vision loss is that it’s intensity varies with a lot of things. So sometimes he can see, let’s say, 20 meters away, sometimes maybe only 10 and sometimes 100. How do you make glasses for that?
Well, with the Google Glasses, you can simply adjust the lens using those zoom things to the size that you see fit. If those glasses can do that, then I would definitely get myself a pair because I already have started showing signs of diabetes. Which I totally ignore by the way. Because the thought of following in my father’s footsteps is not something I imagine with pleasure. But hey, if it so happens well and good. At least I will have solved the vision problem.
So what use would you put the Glasses to or what would you like to see them do? Let me know.
|She is looking directly at me and she’s smiling. Great she likes me. No wait, she’s watching her boyfriend strip dance for her on her eye-phone.|
From the Archives.