I try to make my Mondays as short as possible. That is why I wake up an hour later than usual. I woke up at 7am today and… Well I actually woke up at 6 (because I am used to it) I just got out of bed at 7.  All that hour was spent by looking at the clock waiting for the alarm to ring so that I can break my finger punching in the snooze button. I dunno why I even bother snoozing and that time will be spent just staring at the clock again.

I skip the shower, dress up, skip breakfast and board a matatu. Halfway through the trip I notice the fare is 50 bob and I trip balls because that is how much I gave the conductor and I was expecting back change. So I start bitching about how these guys are ripping us off. A 3 kilometer distance shouldn’t even be charged 30 bob let alone 50. People go to Githurai (a distance of 20Km) with just 10 bob and here is an asshole trying to murder us financially. This didn’t work so I turned to threats.

Rudisha change yangu ama leo mutajua nani alichoma JKIA

I was threatening to burn down the matatu, like I did the airport (which I didn’t by the way), if they did not give me back my 10 bob. This didn’t work either. I dunno why. I gave up.

Then I arrive to town and I am completely over it.  But since they had messed up my math, I had to walk to school.

As I was crossing Moi Avenue to get to Mama Ngina Street I almost get into an accident. Right now, as I am writing this I am not traumatised. Even then I wasn’t even scared. Blood wasn’t pumping fast or anything. I was just there thinking, fuck this guy.  I saw it coming but I did not bother moving. Either I knew the accident would miss me or I just wanted to get hit. I am still trying to figure that one out.

Here is how it happened.

I had crossed the first lanes (cars going to the left) of Moi Avenue and I was standing there waiting to cross the rest of the lanes (cars going right). Two buses side to side were moving from Mama Ngina Street and were trying to get to Moi Avenue. The one on the right started moving but noticed the Corolla coming too fast and stopped. The one next to it was blocked by this bus and couldn’t see the on coming vehicle but proceeded anyway. Because Kenya.  The Corolla guy couldn’t see the second bus was about to get on the road because the first bus was stopped midway and was blocking the view.

Forgive my non existent photoshop skills. But this is where it went down.
Forgive my non existent photoshop skills. But this is where it went down.

I knew this car would be hit and apparently I was the only one. The impact registered with a small thud. Or it might have been a thunderous thud. I dunno. Earphones on full blast. The bus rammed the side of the Corolla and the car’s momentum still intact, start skidding towards the pedestrians that were standing waiting to cross. I was the closest. It was like in slow motion. That thing they say about seeing things in slow motion is true.  I watched as the back of the car skidded and headed straight for us only to hit those one of those dwarf concrete pillars that was next to me. The car changed direction and stopped a few meters ahead. Newton’s First Law

After is stopped that is when people jumped into action. People screamt. People hid. A lady jumped up behind me and held me in front of her like a shield. He fingernails digging hard into my arm. I didn’t mind though. I found it amusing. How she thought that I could stop a speeding vehicle with my body. People are stupider when scared.

They were obviously overreacting because were it not for the pillar no one would have reacted fast enough. It would have ploughed through us like sheep. No one reacted until they heard the thud and by then it was too late. No one was hurt though. At least not physically, it took the Corolla driver a whole minute to get out of the car to see the damage. He seemed shaken. The bus conductor had already started the insults though. So I figured let me just move on, I’m okay, better let them handle it they way they want.

 

Accident at moi avenue, dexxe
This is the said car. As you can see, the bus that hit it was blue. It lost also it’s right rear lights because those dwarf pillars on the roadside is what changed the direction of the skidding vehicle.

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